Whitestone Therapy

  Time away...(29.7.25) 29 July 2025 | 2025 posts It’s been a really good month in Spain. Part of the experiment was to see whether we could live and work here in a few years, so a month was a decent amount of time to see what worked and what didn’t.    Apart from a day after an earthquake in the area (and today as I write) the sun has been shining and the sea as clear as glass – snorkelling has been exceptional and everything is in technicolour.  A lot of expats who live here go back to the UK during July and August as it's high 30’s most days. And to be fair, it really  does  feel too hot even for people who love hot weather.  I’m thinking we too would probably avoid being here in July and August, as after a couple of weeks we’re avoiding the sun and hopping from one shady spot to another.  If I lived here full time I would already be looking forward to September! It's been enjoyable trying to learn the basics of the Spanish language.  I ne...

  Robert Entenman... (20.7.25) 20 July 2025 | 2025 posts Robert J Entenman – 1957-2015 This summer marks the ten year anniversary of Robert Entenman’s death – a man who certainly changed my life.  At the time of his funeral I wrote some words about Robert, which were written with public consumption in mind, but I’ve not written since about the personal impact he made on me.   I’d like to do that here (what follows is therefore personal and not therapy related). I first met Robert just after the financial crisis in 2008.  He joined my bank soon after me as my new boss, and we worked closely together until his untimely death in 2015.   At first, arrogant sod that I was, I resisted working for Robert.  At the time I had an accidental direct reporting line to a ‘global head’ and, feeling I could manage that relationship well (and that the direct reporting line elevated me), I resented a new person arriving and things changing.  Robert was a well-known, lar...

  Sense of self....(13.6.25) 13 June 2025 | 2025 posts By way of a recent conversation, an excerpt from some writing I began years ago. This snippet is about how our  sense of self  is developed, and the caregiving conditions that are optimal.  By definition, if these conditions aren't met, a child/adult may experience their  sense of self  as brittle  - built for ‘survival’, rather than allowing ease-of-being. Often, people arrive in therapy with a wish to take action, and not  just   talk ... They often have a point.  However, an overemphasis on "doing" can overshadow the subtle yet powerful processes of psychotherapy, which often focus on healing deficits in one’s sense of self. This healing unfolds primarily through dialogue, the creation of a trusting relationship where mutual, reciprocal influence between therapist and client emerges. This dynamic connection serves as the catalyst for profound, lasting transformation. The below was...

  Holiday plans - July 2025... (13.5.25) 13 May 2025 | 2025 posts An entirely personal note (nothing therapy related here) on planned break from my practice in July this year - with reduced hours also at end of June.  I will make an update to website closer to the time. -- A few months ago, with unexpected time on my hands in the office, I got caught in a doom-scrolling loop going back through old work emails.  I forget now what I was looking for in the first place, but after about thirty minutes on autopilot, I woke up with the sudden realisation it's been a lot of years since I've had any proper break from working... Later on I gave this more thought, and calculated that the last time I had more than two weeks off with  nothing-work-related-to-do-whatsoeve r was in 2001.  At that time I was unemployed for a couple of months before starting a job.  I think I also had 3 weeks in 2006, but I had three hard-going job interviews and a battery of aptitude tests...

  Introductory Phone Calls... (12.5.25) 12 May 2025 | 2025 posts A note about requests for introductory phone calls. People get in touch to ask about therapy services in a few ways.  The percentages are something like 80% via email, 10% text, 10% phone call.  I tend to leave my phone on ‘do not disturb’, so those who call will almost always be routed to voicemail.   This minimizes disruptions - important most days.   Emails are nearly always quicker to see and respond to.  You can read/reply in smaller pockets of time – e.g. between client sessions, while at lunch, on a morning dog walk etc - whereas voicemails are picked up at the end of the day.  This is often when away from my office and doing something like trying to eat dinner or going to bed!  This means a delay in responding until, at the earliest, the next day.  It's often longer, as the diary for the following day may already be full, and the voicemail will not be 'front of mind...

  Adolescence... (10.4.25) 10 April 2025 | 2025 posts “ A third of teachers reported misogyny among pupils last week, survey suggests ”, says the headline of our national broadcaster, the BBC.  According to a poll of 6,000 secondary school teachers, about 40% of the teachers who responded “… said they felt ill-equipped to handle such content ”.    This comes hot on the heels of the impact made by Netflix drama “Adolescence”, the plot of which involves a young, white teenager whose mind has been overthrown by the ‘manosphere’ (prophets are varied, but first among equals is Andrew Tate).  The thirteen-year-old protagonist has been socially isolated to the extent he has fallen under the spell of misogynists such as Tate, and brainwashed to the extent that he stabs a young girl to death (because that is the only logical conclusion of following the tweets of Tate).   Well, I watched the show.  Adolescence misses the mark.  Yes, its one-shot structure i...