Time away...(29.7.25)
Time away...(29.7.25)
It’s been a really good month in Spain. Part of the experiment was to see whether we could live and work here in a few years, so a month was a decent amount of time to see what worked and what didn’t.
Apart from a day after an earthquake in the area (and today as I write) the sun has been shining and the sea as clear as glass – snorkelling has been exceptional and everything is in technicolour. A lot of expats who live here go back to the UK during July and August as it's high 30’s most days. And to be fair, it really does feel too hot even for people who love hot weather. I’m thinking we too would probably avoid being here in July and August, as after a couple of weeks we’re avoiding the sun and hopping from one shady spot to another. If I lived here full time I would already be looking forward to September!
It's been enjoyable trying to learn the basics of the Spanish language. I never got on with languages that well at school, but I’ve surprised myself a bit and am off to an ok start. The challenge is to try and keep this up when home. Where conversations go well it feels good, and Spanish people are very encouraging if you give it a go.
The time here has also made me thankful for a few things that we do well in the UK, notable by their absence here. As Douglas Murray wrote a few years ago, nothing helps you define “what it means to be English” better than standing in the middle of Beijing! His point – being some distance from home helps you better define things about it that are harder to spot when in it.
Two examples of this, contrasting Spain and the UK - one of them positive about Spain, the other an example of an annoyance.
Spain still has a ‘high trust’ feel, at least here, and there is a sense of safety that is genuine. I don’t think we are quite at ‘everyone leaves the door unlocked’ levels, but it is much more like that than in the UK. Being here has made me aware just how safety conscious we have (had to) become at home. For example, I would worry about leaving bikes down the side of the house at home. I see more anti-social behaviour on any given day in Shoreham, usually before I make it past Shoreham train station, than I’ve seen in a month here. And this is quite a party town for Spanish people. It’s common to take a bag (and chairs umbrellas etc) to the beach and disappear off for a few hours, returning to it later. Frankly, if this was tried in Brighton & Hove it would be a lottery…. I’m a lot more ‘on guard’ in the UK as I go about daily life, and it’s not even close.
Tourists, even in quite dangerous places, often feel safer than they should (it is an actual phenomena), but this isn’t it. It reminds me of the UK as she used to be, and closer to my own memories of childhood. It makes me feel a little homesick for the UK of the 80’s and 90’s. Socially, older adults and young people mix here quite freely in beach bars and clubs – they are not the preserve of young people alone. So there is a wonderful feeling of generational connectivity – younger people will be polite and defer to older people in the normal course of things. People clearly have ties-that-bind, there isn’t the sense of balkanisation that has been imported to the UK – that would be rejected here. There is a different relationship with alcohol too – the only people you’ll see happily drunk are ex-pat Brits of a certain age! This makes civic spaces comfortable, settled, and friendly. There is a basic sense that adults are in charge and holding the space, rather than the lawless teenagerly feel that is now a feature in the UK.
On the other hand, some things are certainly more difficult. In thinking about making a move here these are big factors. Already I miss some conveniences I associate with northern Europe – prompt service, the ability to pay for things quickly (and without a protracted dance), the ability to move with speed, easy to understand and reliable public transport, simple online ways of paying for things (municipal services, parking fines etc). I can see patience will be needed in Spain, and I’m not always blessed with it.
Transactions are more complex and analogue, getting anywhere and doing anything requires face-to-face exchanges, few things are ‘no touch’ in the way we’ve grown used to at home. Services are more hit/miss, opening times a guide rather than a guarantee etc. And if you need a taxi on a Sunday....? pfft.
I know, I know. Come on Steve! It’s a wonderful part of being in another country! Enjoy! Well, yeah, but…. Just occasionally in the heat it can grate on the nerves… And maybe it's a wonderful thing about being on holiday rather than always being wonderful at all other times.
For example, ordering something simple, such as a coffee and tostada, will often involve a 10 minute wait to catch the eye of a waiter. Sometimes you’ll fail at this and must abort and find another establishment. But if successful, your waiter will then come over (without a menu) and ask if you are eating or drinking. If you need a menu then you’ll have another 10 minute wait as he disappears to get it and starts to do other things, then 15 minutes (sometimes much more) waiting for the order, then 10 minutes trying to catch the eye of someone once again to ask for the bill, which, once done, will eventually arrive on a piece of paper and without the card machine. You’ll then very quickly need to specify you want to pay by card before your waiter walks off (or you’ll have to repeat the entire previous step). Your waiter will then disappear off again to find the card machine. If you’re lucky he will not get waylaid, but even this stage can involve a lengthy wait. This can all be very frustrating in the heat when you are hungry, sweating and thirsty or, I fear, when you are working and have appointments...
British holiday makers are endearingly bad at these rituals, making them easy to spot and quite fun to watch - there's something distinctly un-British about constantly having to flag people down with all the arm waving! We're a lot more used to it, but it still brings stress if we're pressed for time.
The idea of getting something ‘quickly’ isn’t something done here at any kind of scale. But if you’re living here, not every quick lunchbreak or drink can be a drawn out ‘experience’ – you have work to do. I wonder how it would feel.
When your waiter does come back with a card machine, you’ll eventually get to pay, then have a dance about whether the payment will be GBP or EUR, then finally you’ll be asked if you’d like a copy of the receipt, each and every time, which unless you are a keen accountant is likely to always be no. I’m getting annoyed writing about it now.
I know, the solution may well be to just go to a damn supermarket if you’re in such a hurry! But I want a coffee and tostada dammit! It’s just an example of how actually living somewhere for a few weeks can help you spot things that are easily missed when in holiday mode. On holiday you have time, living and working somewhere you are time-poor.
Honestly the inefficiency of it all can be frustrating. There is no café, restaurant or bar I’ve been in that couldn’t be improved straight away (and be less stressful for staff with far fewer totally wasted backwards/forwards trips) if people could just pay at point of order (as an option) or if staff make the reasonable assumption that many people these days do not have a huge wallet full of cash in their swimming trunks, and likely want to use apple pay etc, and so have payment terminals to hand when bringing a bill.
I imagine a lot of business owners here are mystified as to why they are not making more money, not making any connection with service routines that are slow and cumbersome, creating easily avoidable, pointless work where none is needed, and that clearly block tables with all the waiting. If you’d prefer people to pay cash (which is fine, I also don’t want a cashless society), incentivise it with a small reduction in the bill. And if you do pay cash, prepare for an even longer wait if you are expecting change to be delivered back to you… grrrr. All these are such obvious candidates for an upgrade that it blows my mind, as you can probably tell.
There is one bar in town that has made similar changes to the service model I’ve suggested above. It’s doing splendidly. Why? Because it’s easy to get in and out. No waiting when you don’t want to, and no being hurried if you’d like to take your time. Why others don’t copy the model is a mystery to yours truly, and a good example of the differences between northern European and southern European mindsets.
It feels good to get that out! And has filled in an hour on only the second cloudy day of the month. The sun is due to make a return after lunch. I’m looking forward to getting back to Shoreham and seeing people now.
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