Whitestone Therapy

"Shaping boys"...(20.12.25) 20 December 2025 | 2025 posts Having written a short end of year Christmas blog, I find myself with an hour today and giving thought to the recent government announcements that impact upon how we treat young, adolescent boys. I wrote a piece in spring 2025 when the TV show  Adolescence  gripped the nation.  I took issue with its central narrative: that "young, white males" - as a category - are inherently problematic and in urgent need of correction. My point was simple: adolescent boys are not 'broken versions of girls' requiring urgent repair, but an increasingly misunderstood cohort navigating a world that often fails to either understand or accommodate their emotional realities. This would include virtually every institution adolescent boys come into contact with. This week, the government announced new measures for schools in England: teachers will receive training to spot and challenge misogyny, with high-risk pupils (boys a...

Merry Christmas....(17.12.25) 17 December 2025 | 2025 posts Hi everyone, Just a short post to wish you all a peaceful Christmas and a great start to 2026.  I always like these end-of-year reflections – a chance to look back and take stock, and to think about what might lie ahead. This has definitely been a year of two halves for me. The first half of 2025 was an amazing time. For those that don’t know, I live in an old Nunnery (before that it was a care home) – it was a dilapidated 11-bed, 13 bathroom property when we moved in, and we’ve been renovating it since 2023, one section at a time. This work continued in one of the downstairs areas and went very well. My practice was full and rewarding, and there were some golden high points in family life that I’ll carry with me forever.  Therapy sessions were often deeply moving, and I’ve been privileged to walk alongside so many people through their own journeys. There were moments of real connection and progress that reminded me w...

  Open Letter... (3.12.25) 3 December 2025 | 2025 posts Dear readers who are therapists, Along with Dr Nash Popovic, I have written an open letter to the BACP expressing concern at the encroachment of political activism into definitions of “best practice”. When activism enters the consulting room, the neutral, client-centred space that is the beating heart of therapy is put at risk. We believe this matters deeply – and we are not alone. The letter has already been signed by lots of people, including several widely respected and well-known figures in the UK therapy world. You would be in good company. You do  not  need to be a BACP member to add your name – only a qualified therapist (or trainee on a recognised programme). We completely understand that some therapists feel unable to sign publicly, even when they share the concerns. Some have told us so privately. That reluctance itself is a symptom of the chilling effect we are highlighting, and it is something we will als...

  The hidden emotional life of the step-parent... (1.12.25) 1 December 2025 | 2025 posts Changing tack for a while from the politics of therapy, I was reminded of this topic when a related email arrived in my inbox.  The challenge of step-parenting comes up in therapy a lot, but almost everything written is either aimed at the children ("How to help your kids adjust") or at the couple (e.g. "communication tips").  I see little giving voice to the step-parent's inner experience.  That is what interests me. Did you know that one in ten families with dependent children in the UK is a stepfamily? That’s perhaps a million children - and close to that number of step-parents - navigating terrain that rarely gets talked about openly. In therapy I often hear heart-warming stories of stepfamilies that work beautifully. But even in the best of them, something usually remains unspoken: the private emotional experience of the step-parent. Adult step-children will quite readi...

  On Silence... (27.10.25) 27 October 2025 | 2025 posts On 8th October I wrote:   “Therapy ought to be responsive to the needs of the individual in front of us, rather than been treated as a sort of moral ‘framework’ into which we squeeze our clients because we know best and are thoroughly enlightened.  This may well lead to poor therapeutic experiences for clients.”    Therapists may unintentionally assume that a client's background, culture, ethnicity, or sexuality inherently leads to difficult or unfair experiences, and the role of the therapist is more akin to an investigator - to identify systemic inequities and draw them out of the client.   I also wrote that...  "to attach any of this worldview to the individual before you in therapy (victim or villain) may be deeply unhelpful and, dare I say it, patronising and racist."   I warned of the risks of making assumptions about clients based on immutable traits like ethnicity, a practice rooted i...

  "Whiteness"... (8.10.25) 8 October 2025 | 2025 posts Illness has been a constant feature of the last two months. I’ve tried to see people for most of August and September, but I’ve finally accepted the doctor’s advice: total rest for a few weeks to recover. I am sorry about it. While not  too  serious (essential tremor / shakiness), it’s been debilitating at times, and it's worrying that the root cause can’t be found, and, apparently, may never be. Whether a Spanish insect bite, an auto-immune response to a virus, or something stupid like a trapped nerve in the neck…. the not knowing has certainly had an effect on my own mood and stress levels.  Important scans have come back all clear, which is good.  I’m deeply grateful to my wonderful family who have helped me tremendously, and to many clients for their understanding.     Therapists must always keep an eye on whether we’re feeling resilient and fit to practice.  We can’t ‘be in someone’s...